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Disney Villain’s that Missed The Memo | 10 Tips to survive as a Disney Villain

Hey Guys,

Totally off topic today but why not?  Kodi is a huge Disney fan.  I thought I’d write about why every Disney villain loses.  Plus I want to get my list of drafted blogs down a bit:)

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10 tips to survive as a Disney Villain

1. Avoid heights

Nearly every Disney villain dies from an unfortunate fall.

2. Double Tap

This goes for every bad guy ever.  If you think the hero is dead, just make sure.  Double tap.

3. Politics

If your goal is world domination and you don’t take care of your kingdom, you’ll be in charge of people who are too weak to serve your evil will.  Make sure to keep the little people able to work.  No one likes the lion who took a kingdom from prosperity to poverty in the lifespan of a lion’s cub hood.

4. Do you really have it that bad?

Most Disney villains are already in a place where they have all the perks of the king and none of the responsibility.  Scar lays around as brother of the king, he does the same as king but everyone hates him.  The evil stepmother is wealthy.  Even Jafar is the grand vizier, That is the guy who pretty much has power of attorney for the king.  If he had the princesses date beheaded he would get a stern talking to.

5. Don’t mess with princesses

Hell hath no fury…  Maleficent curses a baby to die at 16.  Revenge apparently is a dish best served over a decade and a half.  What a long time to be waiting wringing your fingers out in hatred of an infant.

HERCULES, top: Hades, bottom from left: Pain, Panic, 1997, ©Walt Disney Pictures

6. Get smarter minions

Hyenas?  Horris & Jaspir?  Morons who don’t double tap.  La Fou? His name is French for “Crazy”.  The sidekicks always ruin your otherwise brilliant plan.  There’s a reason these guys work for free.

7. Makeover

Um, ya look like a bad guy.  Creulla Deville Looks like Two-Face from batman and Bellatrix LaStrange from Harry Potter had a high-speed collision and fused together.

Appearances matter, if you are going to convince people you aren’t a bad guy, having glowing green eyes and a scar across your face isn’t making that task any easier.

8. Avoid Sinister Laughing

Usually this is when that seemingly down and out hero turns the tide.  Keep it under control chuckles.

9. Know when you’ve lost

Mercy is common among heroes.  If you lost this might save you to plot another day.

10. Don’t be a villain in a Disney Movie and expect to come out ahead.

Just sayin’

 

While this is different than my typical Top Ten Post I thought it would be fun.  Hope you enjoyed the post.  If you did make sure to share and leave a comment.  You can read more of my top ten posts HERE.

  • Kim

    Haha! This was hilarious!